Leading Small Groups

 Leading a small group discussion is an art, not a science. The sciences depend on predictable results: 1 + 2 = 3, and will continue to do so evening if the dinner burns, the rain falls, or if the boss gives you a raise. Whereas, if you ask a person a “how was your day”, you could get completely different results on two different days. This article aims to look at some principles that will help in leading discussions.

The Leader’s Role

Our role as small group leaders is to draw out contributions from all the members, and to guide the discussion. We need to facilitate discussion, not preach. We are guides, not teachers. We need to be participators and observers.

We draw more long-term benefit from the discoveries that we make for ourselves than those we are directed to. For example, a child may be fascinated with the flame from a candle and the parent can instruct the child to avoid going too close (directing the child). If the child reaches out and touches the flame, the child makes a discovery! That single, self-taught lesson will be remain in the child’s memory a lot longer than the many words of its parents. Small group discussions can be places where people make discoveries that will help them grow and develop. A real skill in leading discussions is to help people to make their own discoveries.

That’s a Good Question

A key to leading people to make their own discoveries is asking good questions. Jesus was a master at asking good questions. In fact, he often answered a question by asking a question:

Matt. 22:17-21

Q (people): Should we pay taxes to Caesar?

Q (Jesus): Give me a coin. Whose inscription is on the coin?

Mark 11:27-33

Q (people): By whose authority do you do these miracles?

Q (Jesus): By whose authority did John-the-Baptist baptise?

Learning to ask good questions is a skill that we need to learn to develop. Like any skill, some people are more gifted than others, but everyone can improve through preparation and practice.

Questioning Skills

1. Good questioners are good listeners

It’s no point asking a question if we are not prepared to listen to the answer.

2. We need to be inquisitive

We need to be interested in understanding the individual, and their views. We need to make sure that we are truly interested in them, and are not just focused making a point, trying to look clever, or win the “argument”.

3. Ask open questions

Open questions cannot be answered by a yes/no answer. “It’s good to read the Bible isn’t it?” is a closed question. “What are the benefits of reading the Bible?” is an open question.

4. Probing the circle

People are different, and different people will be able to relate to different types of questions. We may need to ‘probe’ using different types of questions around the same area in order to draw out different people. This means rephrasing the question in different ways or asking different types of questions. That can mean using ‘which’, ‘what’, ‘why’, ‘who’, ‘where’ types. Alternatively, emotional vs. logical: “What do you feel about this?”, “How do you think you cope with this area?”

5. Ask purposeful questions

One of the main reasons for the discussion is that we may learn, grow, and change as a result of the discoveries that we have made. We are not there just to investigate a few theories. So our questions need to be purposeful so that we are guided to specific action that we can take. A useful framework for our questions is the “USA” method (nothing to do with a country by the same name!):

Understand: grasping the main principles

See misalignment: identify areas where we need to grow and change

Action points: identify specific things that we will do and to commit to them

Our questions need to focus on all three of these areas. For example, if we were discussing our Bible reading, we need to ask questions that help us to understand the principles behind reading the Bible. E.g. “Why is it important to read the Bible regularly?” “What benefits are there from regular Bible reading?” What do we miss by not reading the Bible regularly?”

Secondly, we need identify any misalignment to the principles i.e. where we are not living up to the standard we believe we should attain. E.g. “What challenges do we have in reading the Bible regularly?” “In what areas do we struggle with regular Bible reading?” “How regular is our Bible reading?”

Thirdly, we need to ask questions that help people discover specific steps that they can take. E.g. “How can we overcome some of these challenges?” “What we each of us need to do differently to improve our Bible reading?” “What specific steps are you willing to commit to taking?”